Assignment 6: Impression Management

Everyday we as human beings use the tool of impression management to influence how others think about us. In order to be viewed how we want to be viewed  we are constantly putting up a front in order to "sell" a particular image we believe others would find acceptable. This front changes depending on the role that is being played, and the audience you are presenting yourself to. Each person you interact with brings on a slightly different persona in order to pander to what you think the other person wants to see. Often we do this automatically without even thinking about it. I found it to be very interesting to view the world as a stage where we are constantly being actors and actresses. Like in a play, the front stage is where you become a character that the audience expects of you, but the back stage or behind the curtain can reveal a very different scene. 

Depending on the audience, people may exaggerated or fabricate positive qualities, and conceal or camouflage qualities we believe will come across as unappealing. For example, as a student in front of a teacher you may exaggerate qualities such as responsibility, willingness to work, and politeness through things such as facial expression, posture, eye contact, participation and so on. On the other hand, students might try to hide the feelings of boredom, sleepiness and disinterest in order to maintain the image of an ideal student for their own benefit. 

Reading about impression management got me thinking about times where I have put on a front to gain acceptance and fulfill a role. One example of a time where I used impression management was the first time I met my boyfriend's family. I have always been a very shy person, and the idea of meeting them made me nervous. It was very important to me that I gave a good first impression, because, bottom line, I wanted them to like me. That day, I remember spending extra time on my appearance because this is often the first impression people have about others. I picked out a nice outfit, and even bought a sweater to wear, because I couldn't decided on one from my own closet. I also took the time to dry and straighten my naturally wavy and frizzy hair, because I wanted to feel like I was at my best. It was important for me to feel confident and good about my self, so I would feel confident presenting myself to my boyfriend's family. If I would have rolled out of bed and thrown on some sweatpants, I would have felt extremely uncomfortable  unacceptable, and would have probably come across as an unsuitable girlfriend. Once I was satisfied with my appearance I headed over to their house. In my head on the way over I was telling myself to be respectful, polite, and friendly. I began role playing in my head and practicing what I would do in different situations. I like to think that I am naturally respectful, friendly and polite but the importance of these attributes was heightened since I was meeting them for the first time and this impression would have a lasting effect. When I arrived at their house, I was feeling very nervous inside, but outwardly, I don't think they saw me that way. I put on my biggest and warmest smile, shook hands with the dad, and the mom gave me a hug.They showed me around the house and they asked me the typical questions, which I had already practiced answering in my head. The dinner was the hardest part where everybody was sitting around and making conversation. I felt very shy, and did a lot of smiling, nodding, laughing, and agreeing to avoid stuttering or saying something awkward. I didn't contribute a lot to the conversation but I did my best to seem charming and likable. First impressions are the most important and can have lasting effects on how others view you. Often, extra effort is put into making sure we conduct ourselves in an appropriate manner, in order to gain immediate acceptance and overtime we can allow our backstage selves to show through more and more. 

Another example of a time where I put on a front in order to be accepted and selected, was during my high school volleyball tryouts. During tryouts, it is important to fit the role of a volleyball player. This means you must have the proper volleyball attire, have knowledge of the game, be good at taking direction,  and have strength, endurance, and communication skills. It was very clear from the start who had played volleyball and been through these tryouts before simply from their appearance. This was not my first tryout so I knew the role I had to portray but I was still very nervous stepping into the gym. I knew that this day would be a deciding factor of if I made a team or not. I made sure I looked the part by wearing a volleyball shirt, spandex, knee high socks, volleyball shoes and a pony tail with a headband. I most likely would not have been taken seriously if I arrived to the gym in jeans and flip flops with my hair down and stepped on the court to play. In fact, I may not have been allowed to even try out. I wanted the coaches to take me seriously so throughout the drills it was very important that I appeared focused and confident. I needed to be taken seriously as a skilled volleyball player even though in reality I was sometimes nervous, tired, and unclear on what the directions were. If I found myself to be confused I would often look around at what others were doing, especially the older more experienced players, and follow their lead. This was no time to goof around, and give poor efforts. I did my best to put on a front that would be considered acceptable enough to be chosen as a part of a team.

Every single day people portray what they think others want to see. We do this to protect ourselves from rejection and to be viewed as an acceptable person in whatever role we find ourselves. From the time we are very young we are socialized to know what is acceptable behavior and what is not, and it becomes an automatic response to put on these fronts without even thinking about if we are being true to ourselves. A lot of the times, being ourselves can actually be a detriment to our success as human beings. If we always did exactly what we felt like doing, we would be looked upon as not really fitting into society as a whole in most cases. Bottom line, sometimes it is necessary to play a role to be successful we just need to be aware that this is what we are doing. 

Works Cited:

Newman, David. Sociology Exploring the Architecture of Everyday Life: SAGE Publications, Inc. California: Los Angeles, 2012. Print.