Assignment 4: Going Against The Norm

For this blog, I did an experiment to see how people would react if I did something that goes against our cultural norm. Tonight turned out to be the perfect night to do this, seeing as though my grandmother, who is very conservative and old fashioned, came over to join us for a family dinner. My dad made a delicious lay out which included a brown rice dish, beets and green beans, and baked chicken (none of which are considered finger foods in our culture). I plated my food as I normally would and took my place at the table waiting for the rest to do the same. As soon as everybody was seated I began eating, but instead of utilizing the utensils sitting next to me, I grabbed small portions with my fingers and ate it. At first, nobody noticed that I was doing this because they were enticed in their own food and the ongoing conversation; but eventually, my grandma took notice of my behavior. She looked at me in a puzzled manner and said, "Kathryn (my family all calls me Kathryn), why on heavens are you doing that? There's a perfectly fine fork sitting next to you." I looked at her and shrugged it off like it was not an odd thing to be doing and continued to pick up rice and vegetables with my hands. Now that I had caught the attention of everyone at the table, people began to look at me with furrowed brows. I acted as if I didn't noticed and asked a new question to keep the conversation going. My mom looked at me and laughed a little in confusion and said. " Kathryn, what are you doing? We have a guest, why are you eating with you hands?" It was difficult to keep the charade going with everybody glaring me down and asking questions, and I cracked a little bit of a smile, but continued on with what I was doing and turned the attention yet again to another topic. This time my topic change did not work, and people continued to ask me what I was doing. I then smiled and told them that it was all just an experiment for my sociology class, and they laughed and found it to be very interesting.

In the culture we live in, eating non finger foods with you hands, especially in public or in front of guests is considered against the norm. People look at this behavior as barbaric, rude or dirty. Using utensils is expected of people sitting around at a dinner table, and you are bound to get some stares if you refuse to do so. However in countries such as Bangladesh, India, Nepal and Pakistan eating with your hands is the accepted norm.

I had a lot of fun both eating with my hands and observing my families reactions. I did feel a bit uncomfortable and rude behaving this way in front of my grandma, but I knew that I would have a chance to explain myself after the experiment. Throughout the experiment I felt a lot of pressure to conform to the norm because I could feel how uneasy it was making everyone. Afterwards I asked my family what their thoughts had been when I was eating dinner with my hands and refusing to use my silverware. My grandma laughed and said " I thought you were deliberately acting out and being rude on purpose and found it to be very inappropriate for the occasion." My mom said that she felt embarrassed that I was behaving this way, especially in front of a guest and that she probably would not have cared as much if it was just the immediate family sitting down and having dinner. This type of behavior may not be looked down upon as much or considered rude if with close friends or family, but may still be thought of as strange.

 It would be interesting to see how my immediate family would have reacted if my grandma was not there or what the reactions would be among other groups of people ( friends, fancy restaurant, by myself in public, and so on) Did the fact that there was a guest at my dinner table cause greater tension to the situation? My guess is yes. Overall, going against the cultural norm of using silverware to eat non finger foods at my family dinner clearly showed the power that these invisible rules hold in our lives.